Reminder:In the case of a pastoral care need, please contact the following: March March 13 - April 5: Rev. Elizabeth Endicott, 507-440-4934
Dearly Beloved,
I have been reflecting deeply on the work of goodbye saying and on the idea of good goodbyes these last few weeks. Even in the midst of the chaos of the world, of all the things that are hard, it feels essential to slow down enough to consider: what is a good goodbye? What makes a departure loving and kind? A sending off gracious and generous?
Good goodbyes and helping people think about what that means and seeking to live them out will be a central part of the hospice chaplaincy work into which I am stepping.
Dr Ira Byock's work and the wisdom of the native Hawaiian Ho'oponopono prayer invite us to release regret, express gratitude and find peace when we say goodbye with four statements.
I'm outlining them here and I look forward to getting to say some of these this coming Sunday! I hope you'll be there.
1) Thank you
Perhaps you've heard me quote social science researcher Brené Brown who writes of the close connection between practicing gratitude and experiencing joy. Even in the midst of grief, in the midst of the panoply (wide array) of emotions, sharing gratitude helps us remember all the good that we have shared. It helps us remember what we have planted, tended, grown, and harvested together. We have so much to be thankful for!
2) I'm sorry
The truth is that none of us is perfect. We all make mistakes. Sometimes we know about those mistakes as soon as we make them, others we only know about when we're told, some we don't ever know. Without intending to, we cause harm to one another. Saying I'm sorry acknowledges our humanity, and the mistakes intrinsic in being in relationship. Part of saying I'm sorry is offering some closure and acknowledging that we've fallen short in both what we've done and what we've left undone.
3) I forgive you
This is a practice in release, in letting go. It follows closely from saying I'm sorry in acknowledging that we are human. However, saying "I forgive you" releases us and the one whom we're forgiving from whatever hurts we've been carrying. Forgiveness is one of the ways we cut the cords of resentment, bitterness, or hurt that can bind us to each other in ways that are not good for anyone.
4) I love you
These simple words remind us of what we will carry with us. In our Christian tradition, we remember that nothing can separate us from God's love in Christ and indeed, nothing can separate us from others' love -- "not death or life, not angels or rulers, not present things or future things, not powers or height or depth, or any other thing that is created" (Romans 8:38-39).
I'm so grateful for all the journey that we have shared together and look forward to gathering for worship together these next three Sundays (March 22; Palm Sunday -- March 29 including our Litany of Farewell; Easter Sunday).
With love and so much gratitude,
Thandiwe
